Ever wonder what it's like to go through infertility? Unfortunately, I know first hand. But after several years of trying, I finally found my baby! In the process, I gained confidence and perspective and was finally able to open up about what our experience with infertility was like. Maybe you can relate? Or maybe you're curious because someone close to you is going through it. Either way, thanks for stopping by! And while you're here, I'd love to hear about your experience, too. Please leave a comment...

Friday, April 1, 2011

Hello Spring!

Hello Spring!  Hello little purple harbingers of hope from my very own back yard!  Hello sunshine!  Hello warm weather!  Hello jogging stroller and long walks with friends!  HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

When it rains, it pours!  I feel like Charlie Brown's friend Lucy throwing her hands up in the air and screaming "aaargh!"  We have had about 3 weeks of illness in our house and I am going stir crazy!  On top of the fact that my dishwasher AND my vaccuum cleaner broke in the very same week!  And yet still on top of the fact that every chance I actually get to get out of the house we get an epic storm, with another expected imminently as my latest migraine so clearly announces.  This past weekend we actually went out in a colossal downpour just so I could get out of the house!  My poor husband just wanted to curl up and fall asleep listening to the rain but politely indulged me, knowing I was already clawing at the walls.  And it was the best lunch-date I have ever had!  I didn't even mind that Georgetown Cupcake had a line going out the door and down the block (yes, even in the rain) so that we had to go to another fancy bakery, which of course, didn't even compare to the yumminess of Georgtown's red velvet!   Aaaargh!

Lest I be heard to be complaining, I am really not.  Even the worst day at home with my Baby Boy is better than the best day at the office.  Even sticking close to home and wiping a snotty little nose is a privilge that I know will soon be over.  Nothing compares to tiny little hands planting themselves on my temples so that little dripping nose can smash itself against my cheek in a spontaneous "kiss" with a look of sheer glee that says "look what I learned to do, Mommy!"  These days will be over so fast that I simply wouldn't trade a single one for all the tea in China!  So, even as the furballs roll across my floors like tumbleweeds, I am resolving to hunker down with a squirming toddler for yet another Baby Einstin video without getting impatient or bored.

Some day soon I hope to be back and posting - got some great material for my book club post - but for now it's back to snotty noses...

Monday, January 31, 2011

Favorite Things - Weekly Planner

Today is Monday, and I just have to share one of my new favorite things. It is a weekly planner and if you are a list-maker, like I am, it will become one of your favorite things, too! I can sit down on Monday morning and write out a list of everything I have to do that week. Then I can organize my list per day, per weekend, next week and "snowball in hell!" Don't think I don't have "snowball in hell" filled out, either, because I am constantly over-listing myself with far too many things to do that get pushed into the snowball category! I love the fact that it is basically my to-do list organized in a days-of-the-week format so that I can prioritize what I've got to do and get a realistic idea of when certain things will or will not get done. This one is made by Knock Knock and you can find it (along with a lot of other cool stuff) at www.knockknock.biz. And speaking of other stuff, I really like that "Rate that Wine" pad. If I can figure out what to do with the completed sheets then I just might get it, too...

Happy Monday!
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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

New Year, New Attitude

Hello, Friends!  I hope this Wednesday-Hump-Day finds you well.  Today is cold, gray, dreary and snowy and we are gearing up for our first real snowfall of the year.  I love the snow, especially when it first falls and no one has yet attacked it with their shovels.  As soon as Hubby gets home from work (early, I hope), we will hunker down with some comfort food, a fire and a hot, steamy mug of hot chocolate!

I have had so many posts in mind for this New Year, and already the time has gotten away from me and I haven't been able to write.  Partly because our holidays got extended with a last-minute, post-Christmas visit from my sister who is currently living in Europe.  Partly because of the death of a dear, dear friend whom I miss to the point of tears and whom I am desperately anxious to see again someday in Heaven.  And partly because I am just kind of blue these days.  Ever just been in the dumps for no apparent reason?  I don't feel like cooking, don't feel like calling up a good friend, don't even feel like getting up to my old trick of attacking my house with bleach wipes and a broom and working myself into a better mood.  Yesterday I tried napping, but Baby Boy wasn't really into a nap, himself, so I couldn't fall asleep.  This morning Baby Boy was kind enough to sleep in late, so I did too and thought that would help.  Not really.  Then, after a lengthy fuss (which is not normal) he fell asleep for a good nap late this morning.  So while he was napping I let myself be lazy and read a book, watched my favorite tv show (Real Housewives - ashamed to admit it but I am a huge fan), ate a comfort food lunch (lasagne and Texas Toast)....and still am not motivated!! 

This is not exactly how I wanted to begin my blog for the year, so I have to apologize in advance to all my new friends out there.  But I would love your input here!  What do you do to work yourself out of the blues? 

P.S.  I promise the Christmas theme will not stay up until July!  I am working on some new stuff and have a few kinks to work out first...

P.P.S.  So I haven't chosen a new graphic theme for my blog yet but at least the Christmas decorations are down!  And it isn't even July!  And I found a new trick for beating the blues:  crawl around on the floor playing with the cutest baby you've ever seen until your knees are bruised.  Why didn't I think of that two days ago?  Worked like a charm!

Thursday, December 16, 2010


This is a shout out for advice!  My diaper pail is driving my crazy!  First of all, it stinks to high heaven no matter what, or how much, is in it!  Secondly, I have sprayed it with disinfectant so many times that it now has a film on it that makes it stick whenever I try to turn it to drop the diapers in the sack.  Can any one recommend one they have actually had success with?  Baby Boy might be asking Santa for a new one this year!  Thanks a million...

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Advice from Celebs

I was just searching the web for blogs other women have used to help them with their infertility struggles and I can't believe how many there are!  I am utterly flabbergasted and wish, wish, wish I had found these when I was first going through infertility.  Maybe then I wouldn't have felt so alone. 

There was one in particular that got me thinking this morning, and that was Infertile Naomi at http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/.  What a great perspective - we have to find humor in life or we'll never get through it!  She also has a celebrity infertility blog at Fertilityauthority.com and interviewed Trista Sutter a couple of months ago.  See the link here http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blogger/infertilenaomi/2010/09/30/infertile-naomi-interviews-trista-sutter

Trista had some great advice, namely, when you are trying to get pregnant keep the lines of communication with your spouse open and don't make sex just about making a baby.  It's so easy to lose perspective when you're trying to get pregnant.  So easy to focus so hard on temperature charts, ovulation cycles and doctor's appointments that you forget why you are trying to have a baby in the first place.  Intimacy should always be, first and foremost, about connecting with your spouse and meeting each other's needs - emotionally and physically - not about accomplishing a pregnancy.  I wish someone had told me to reserve time for intimacy even when it's not "Time" for baby-making.

I don't usually look to celebrities for advice, but in this case it's worth it!  So, just for the fun of it ladies, tonight when your hubby gets home, put away your temperature charts, break out the sexy undies, dim the lights and crank up the Barry White CD!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Silent No More

I refuse to be silent any more. 

Have you ever been through a crisis and felt utterly spent?  And utterly alone?  I began to feel that way when we discovered we were going to have to deal with the dreaded "I" word.  Infertility.  Such a big, ugly, angry word.  That was several years ago.  And then it seemed like everyone around me was having babies.  Everyone around me certainly expected me to have a baby.  It got so bad that the other mothers, especially the other grandmothers, around me would stare at my tummy every time they saw me, convinced that they could be the first to tell when I was expecting.  I got to the point that every time I walked down the hall at the office I would cover my stomach with whatever papers I had with me so that the Tummy Inspectors couldn't see.  Once, the Chief Tummy Inspector cornered me and asked me if I was pregnant.  That was a bad day, because I wasn't pregnant at all.  Just gaining weight out of sheer misery. 

Perhaps it was true that I was actually surounded by nothing but the Fertile, because that's simply the life-stage at which I found myself.  Perhaps it was just my perception because I was hyper-sensitive.  Either way, it was miserable.  I felt like I had no one to talk to.  And when I finally did open up with my friends and family, no one knew what to say.  Everyone - and I do mean everyone - stuck their foot in their mouth.  Repeatedly.  It got to the point that I wanted to avoid everyone.  And I did, for a while.  Fortunately, my friends care enough about me that they refused to let me isolate myself.

Now, several years later and after successfully navigating invitro-fertilization, I have a beautiful, bouncing baby boy.  And with him came perspective.  And with him came a measure of peace.  Not complete peace.  Hardly.  One of my good friends just had her second baby (got pregnant without even trying) and I don't think I'll even be able to go and see them.  No, peace is still a looong way off.  But somehow, I am determined not to be silent any more.  I am determined to speak my mind - gently, hopefully - about what this experience has been like.  And what it is still like to live as an Infertile among the Fertile.  Hopefully the fact that I am speaking out will embolden others to do so.  Hopefully the fact that I am speaking out will educate other people so they can better help their family and friends experiencing infertility.  Hopefully the fact that I am speaking out will bring with it another measure of peace.